Destination Lazy

Today as I was going for my morning walk, I saw what I can only describe as the pinnacle of laziness. After lifting my jaw from the street, I removed my cell phone from my pocket and took a quick picture for everyone to see. Behold the super industrial, motor driven, vacuum.

I watched in amazement as this man puffed away at a cigarette while sitting in this monstrosity. He would drive 2 feet forward, then swing the large arm in front and to the side, vacuuming up cigarette butts and small pieces of paper. When he was finished the cigarette he himself was smoking, he would throw it to the ground in front of him and then operate the joystick to suck it into the back of the vehicle. Then he would drive forward another two feet and swing the arm around again.

I decided to Google this breakthrough in modern technology. MADVAC is the name of one of the models that are currently being sold. It boasts about how it's "a high profile, cost-efficient cleaning machine that safely and effectively cleans city sidewalks and parks." It also states that the MadVac "raises your profile, showing citizens and local businesses how serious you are about improving their environment." When I read further in the specs of the machine, however, I see that the engine is a 28 hp diesel engine. Forgive my scepticism but if there is a cigarette butt on the ground, Would it not be more environmentally friendly to sweep the butt into a pan at the end of a stick with a broom instead of using a diesel powered vehicle, idling on the sidewalk and spewing CO2 emissions into the air?

Points to Ponder

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Have you ever tried changing your phone provider?

Do you ever feel like this when you're dealing with all the phone services that are available?

Keeping busy

I haven't been blogging much. There is just so much to do and instead of writing about it, I'm just doing it. Facebook has been a huge factor in my abscence. I am still reading blogs(from those who post) but alot of my social keeping up comes from reading people's profiles and events at the newest craze in town. I suppose the biggest reason it is such a hit is because you find people by who they are, not their alias. On this blog site, I am hotrodent. Unless you know me, you don't know me. If a long lost friend from elementary school wanted to rebuild ties, they will remember me by my parent's given name, not my made up name. But on facebook, I have found people I almost forgot about over time. They found me because I have nothing to hide.

I have also been busy with other things. I've started doing a little website design. Nothing amazing or spetacular. I recently posted a site for a friend of mine. He wrote a couple of tourist books about John Dean National Park on Vancouver Island. From my research into the website, I have become so interested in the park that I look forward to actually visiting it sometime. Since I have the books, I will know my way around.

If anyone's interested in seeing the site, it's at http://johndeanpark.com

The Year, 1975

In 1975 (the year you were born)

Gerald Ford is president of the US Evacuation of US civilians from Saigon as Communist forces complete takeover of South Vietnam FBI agents capture Patty Hearst, who is indicted and convicted of bank robbery Teamster Jimmy Hoffa disappears without a trace Marines rescue the crew of the American ship the Mayaguez near Vietnam First Lady Betty Ford says in an interview that she thinks her children have tried marijuana Natalie Imbruglia, Drew Barrymore, David Beckham, Enrique Iglesias, Angelina Jolie, and Tiger Woods are born Cincinnati Reds win the World Series Pittsburgh Steelers win Superbowl IX Philadelphia Flyers win the Stanley Cup Production begins on Star Wars Jaws and The Rocky Horror Picture Show are the top grossing films Soul Train premieres on television in the United States "The Way We Were" (performed by Barbara Streisand) wins the Grammy for best song Saturday Night Live and Wheel of Fortune premiere

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

My Secret Identity

This is a spoof remake of the intro credits for a TV show I used to watch a very long time ago. I also included a link to the original opener to the show for your scrutinee. Enjoy!!

New Years Restart

You every feel like you just need a restart? You want to start the new year with a clean slate? The last few months of 2006 have been tough for me. Actually, the entire year of 2006 has been full of God's testing. Someone very close to me had a major surgery near the beginning of the year that has changed their life forever. My dad passed away of cancer in June. I nearly filed a workplace harassment charge (emotional) against one of my coworkers at work. I've had to deal with some major screwups with Student loans. And finally, to complete the year, payroll conveniently 'lost' over $6,000 of my money at Christmas time.

Now this is not to say that God was not with me or my family through all this. God gave each of us the strength we needed to get through the trials as we faced them. Some took a lot of time for us to get through; some we are still going through, but I am confident that we are stronger now than we were before we faced them. We also received blessings throughout the year. God brought our family a little closer when my dad died. Through God's grace, I was given a permanent position within the company that keeps me completely away from the forementioned coworker and gives me better job security with benefits. And despite all the financial turmoil, God has blessed us with 'enough' to pay each and every bill and still tithe His share.

I've been reading "The Way of the Wild Heart" by John Eldredge. It gives a biblical outline of how God intended to raise men. He describes in his book how we need to be able to go beyond our limits and experience the successes and failures on our own with the knowledge that God our Father will be there to help us back up when we fall and teach us lovingly from our mistakes. He will also help to encourage us to carry on when we feel like giving up.

I don't have any clue what 2007 has in store for me. So much could happen...so much has already happened. But through it all, I trust that my Heavenly Father will sustain me. Each obstical will be overcome. No matter how many times I have to restart the race, my final goal is always the same...eternal life with Jesus Christ, my Heavenly Father.